SINTRA MYSTERY RESOLVED - A CONVERSATION WITH ANNA THULIN



Soon after returning from the north, I received a surprising message from Anna Thulin, who I talked about in a previous entry. She thanked me for my note – left at the hospital the day before she was to be discharged – and invited me for tea.

Ms. Thulin greeted me at the door of her lovely home. She is very pretty and young looking. Proper. Lithe as a dancer.



She took me to a room bathed in sunlight, big windows giving onto a garden. I gasped, recognizing a painting of mine on the wall. Anna smiled and told me she loves the painting, and had always wanted to meet me. What a rare and wonderful coincidence for me!

As we sipped tea and ate little hot almond pastries, Anna Thulin talked. I will try to transmit here, in an impressionistic way, the gist of what she told me.


“I have been like a fish that lives in the sunless depths of the ocean….

“I married a year after arriving in Portugal. I was very young. I was staying with a Swedish couple, friends of my parents, and attending art classes. One day I was invited to a party where I met Vasco. I was blown away by his charm and seduced by his extravagant love of life. I was in over my head.

“I guess we go on playing various roles until we find our own….

“I seemed concocted to fulfill Vasco’s fantasies, like an exotic pet one likes to show off to one’s friends. At first I loved it, to be treated like a valuable collector’s item, but with the passing of years I was more and more dissatisfied. I became filled with frustrated artistic visions, daydreams, restlessness, chain-smoking….

“My husband’s schemes and pace were getting wilder, his demands on me more and more difficult. It frightens me to admit I was frightened.


“I suppose I could just have walked away, but it was not so easy. Everything was his, the travel agency, the houses, the cars, all in his name. I was naïve and he was a lawyer.

“My dissatisfaction with myself was the hardest. I have artistic talents, but if they are not expressed and acknowledged they don’t exist.

“And I was being tossed aside like a fading mistress. I felt there was no way out for me.

“I had to do it, get out of my life -- get out of life as I’ve known it for almost 20 years -- and I felt an unfamiliar kind of courage. I started collecting sleeping pills.




“I went to Hotel Central, a place I know well from work. All our clients stay there. I knew the hotel’s routines well. The rest you know. As it took place in a hotel, it became public. Vasco has a total terror of publicity, he has to control everything. Then he was exposed by his wife’s attempted suicide splattered across the paper. You picked it up. Others did too. The police are all over him because of the note I left behind in the room. I am being invited daily for interviews with TV and papers. He is giving me all I want, divorce, this house, in exchange for my silence.

“You know, the world is beginning all over again for me, and I intend to savor the exciting days ahead. I am going to design fabric. It has been my passion since my art school days in Sweden. I came here to learn how to paint azulejos, Portuguese tiles, and now I am starting again.

“Living means change and growth. Sometimes one has to take risks.”





59 comments:

  1. Celeste each time I come in for what I know wil be a good read, you are better than before. You are one talented lady

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  2. You know, the only thing I can think of is that this woman had to take such desperate measures to get out of a desperate situation.

    I was particularly touched by her statement "the world is beginning all over for me again." I remember that feeling, all too well, from my own divorce. I hope that 16 years from now, her ex-husband will be a more of an adult than mine is.

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  3. what a beautifully poignant story of hers - one with which i am all to familiar, having lived it myself - the beautiful ornament on his arm - the young exotic bird to be shown off to his friends and associates - the collector's rare find - the discarding of my own artistic passions for his life - his control - his possessiveness - and more control - the discontent - the sadness and darkness - in my case, however, my life was salvaged by my love for my beautiful children - and theirs for me - they were my grace - but they could not be responsible for me - i had to be - and so, one morning, at the age of 23, after having gone through a very close courtship with physical/medical death, i woke to the feel of the sun on my flesh - to the sound of birds chirping out my window - i walked over to the mirror and saw the real me - someone i'd not seen for way too long - i could not remember the last time i had felt the warmth of the sunshine or heard the sounds of birds singing - i turned from the mirror, walked to the closet and packed one suitcase and a diaper bags - then with my children in hand, i walked out - walked out from the beautiful new home, the new cars, the property, the life of his - out of the darkness and into the sunlight - i never looked back - and so, i salute anna - i salute you for so eloquently and caringly telling her story - the story of so many of us - and i salute all of us who have followed in that shadow - and found our way into the light...

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  4. and i'm sorry to have forgotten this one little thing but was reminded of it with your beautiful painting - at some point during my time with him, when he could not bear to have any physical evidence of my life before him, without him, all of my beautiful artwork i had created was made into a blazing bonfire for me to witness - my paintings, my poetry, everything - but i remember thinking as i watched the embers floating into the night sky, i remember thinking what beautiful glorious flames they all made!

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  5. Quite a lot of coincidences.
    I am glad it worked out well in the end for this young woman and for you. Perhaps the two of you could keep the connection going.

    It is good of you to show the resolution to the conundrum.

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  6. Wow, that's quite some story! I especially love the last line... "Living means change and growth. Sometimes one has to take risks." That certainly is so very true. As scary as it can sometimes be to change and take risks, it's important. Something I must work on! Thanks for such an inspiring post :)

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  7. You know what a strange story this is...a sincere attempt at suicide as way of gaining freedom.

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  8. Courageous and deeply touching. I wish her well and have no doubt that her courage will continue to bring the goodness back into her life.

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  9. Celeste, I am new to your blog. I think this story is, unfortunately, all too common.

    I was reminded of a Michel Foucault quote:

    “The strategic adversary is fascism... the fascism in us all, in our heads and in our everyday behavior, the fascism that causes us to love power, to desire the very thing that dominates and exploits us.”

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  10. How courageous of Ms. Thulin to share this with us, and how strong she is, to make the break. Many women just continue within their unhappy lives because they are too afraid to make a change. I am sorry it had to involve pain, but I wish her all the very best in her artistic pursuits. I'm sure it will bring her peace and happiness.

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  11. incredible encounter Celeste after what happened!
    i also like the coincidence that she has one of your paintings..Well, like everybody here, i wish her all the best and to succeed in fabric design...
    she's so pretty and looks so frail, i really hope she'll find happiness and peace of mind...
    thank you so much for this amazing post!

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  12. Celeste, What a magnificent unfolding! I am so glad that Anna Thulin invited you to tea, that she has her lovely house, but most of all that she has her freedom!!!!
    It will be wonderful meeting her some day!
    When we stop being victims and take action miracles happen!
    Thank you for sharing this great story! You are truly amazing! And Anna chose well, I love that painting of yours!!!!
    Isabel

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  13. It's amazing how Ms. Thulin's suicide attempt is actually giving her the life she wanted. This would make such a great short story! (Hmmm said something like that before here didn't I?) Especially the part about you seeing her and then seeing she had your painting on her wall! Talk about synchronicity. And to think she gave you the interview the TV news has been asking for!

    That is a gorgeous painting by the way, would love to see a more detailed version of it.

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  14. Celeste, thank you for visiting my blog this morning. I know it was hard to figure out by my disjointed blog if I was high or just a doddering old woman. I had a Dr's app't this morning and hopefully I shall be able to sleep and make more sense. Things will be better, I believe. I felt the need to explain. You were so good to meet with this courageous lady and all I can say is I wish her the best I believe every word she says and bless her for getting what was rightfully hers.

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  15. No matter how bad things may seem in our own life, there is always someone that feels more desperate.
    Thank you for sharing this. It gives a touch of sunshine when the clouds are rolling in.
    Is that your painting?
    Hugs, Sheri

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  16. p.s.

    Beautiful photographs
    of a beautiful woman
    and
    a beautiful painting.

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  17. Celeste, I went to visit your blog and your paintings and I have no words to say how impressive everything you do is...congratulations!!
    Thank you for visiting my blog and leaving a comment...you are the third one doing that!!
    I hope you had a great time in the very south of the world (sorry for my english).
    Saludos
    María Cecilia

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  18. Your posts always make me think, and ponder my existence in the universe! Fate, chance, opportunity, decisions...life is so very divergent.
    On a personal note, what is CLL?

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  19. What a fascinating and sad story about Anna Thulin. And it blew me away when you visited her and she had one of your own favourite paintings on her wall. You were obviously meant to meet one day and in that meeting be able to help her start the healing process.

    I popped to your website and greatly admired your paintings.

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  20. I hope my last comment made it to you.

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  21. This is good news, Maia. Please pass on best wishes to Ms Thulin.

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  22. (This comment arrived from "studioJudith" but I lost it inadvertently)

    studioJudith has left a new comment on your post "SINTRA MYSTERY RESOLVED - A CONVERSATION WITH ANNA...":

    I sigh as I attempt to formulate a response to your beautiful post.
    It's all sadly familiar.

    I, too, was a trophy wife seduced by charm and a life I had never imagined. Jet Set was the term of the time (the '80's). When I chose to leave we had accumulated 6 houses stuffed with amusing objects acquired through endless travels and paddle waving at Sothebys. I knew his lawyers would ultimately squeeze the life from me, so I decided to just walk away. No arguments .. . . just "I want out - you can have it all."

    No regrets,

    but - I must say I'm thrilled she got out
    AND
    got the house . |

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  23. Nietzsche once wrote: one who has a WHY to live, bares nearly every HOW. Hope that there will be from now on, bright and such beautiful moments, making her a new and better HOW.

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  24. A novel. A romance. A movie script. Poor little rich girl with so little of her own. So sad too sad.

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  25. I am so happy to hear what has taken place since you wrote you previous story. How touching that Anna Thulin would have you come to tea and share so openly. Even more amazing is the coicidence that she had a painting of yours. It was met for you to meet her. I also wish her well.

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  26. celeste - i'm so happy to see you over at synchronicity - a great site which i'm sure you will love! i left you a little note over there, as well - have a wonderful evening! jenean

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  27. "It frightens me to admit I was frightened" was resolved and that came out from her because she is safe with you. I'm glad she met you, you gave the positive vibes in her life. A conversation with Calesta Maia to her was soothing and a relief.

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  28. Your posts are always fascinating and different..This one is the best among all..Great..Thanks for sharing..Unseen Rajasthan

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  29. What a strong story. I am so glad you shared the two posts, and I am wishing Anita all the best.

    I hope you will show some of her fabrics after they are done.

    The painting in th ephotos, is it the one by you?

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  30. Such an interesting and lovely encounter. How wonderful that she knew of you and had one of your paintings. You convey the sense of the meeting, quite deftly, celeste. With beautiful brush strokes, I see and feel the scene.

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  31. I meant also to say how much I like the painting in the photos. I especially like folds of cloth and the rich deep color of the carpets.

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  32. What a wonderful opportunity to have had an interview with Anna Thulin. And to find out she actually owns and loves one of your paintings, too! It was good to hear her side of the story, and I wish her the very best. Excellent story and photos as usual!

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  33. Celeste - I've just been catching up with your blog, several weeks of writing on subjects as diverse as windswept beaches, President Obama, Portuguese love/hate stories (at least as epic as Romeo and Juliet, if not more) and this fascinating interview with Anna Thulin.

    So much beauty and passion in your corner of the world! I wish Anna well. How sad that she would have to resort to such extreme measures to regain her freedom.

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  34. In the end tho, that's not the sane way to start anew. Then again, who among us is sane.

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  35. Tanto quanto o meu desgraçado inglês me deixa perceber...que sequência tão estranha de acontecimentos...qb misteriosa...O blog agarra-nos.Parabéns!
    Quanto ao resto, quase arriscaria dizer que a divulgação que faz de Portugal está seguramente um ponto acima daquela que às vezes é feita institucionalmente.
    um beijinho

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  36. My, my what a heartbreaking life. There are so many couples in this type situation today. There seems to be not true, lasting love. I regret it took her so long to find her way, and pray with time, all will be worth it. Thanks for having the time to leave me a nice comment.

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  37. She is a lovely lady. Such and elegant shot of her sipping tea in front of your gorgeous painting. I am so impressed. WOWZA! You are one super talented lady. I think people come into our lives for a reason. It seems you have touched hers and she yours. You have told her story so eloquently and made it very personalized. It is a sad story but unfortunately not too uncommon. It is so nice to know that you reached out to her and that she felt comfortable enought o share with you her fears and hopefull she will share her triumphs as well.

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  38. I am so glad to know how this turned out, and that it had a happy ending. But, then, it isn't really an ending, is it? There's a life to come. I wonder how that will unfold. I hope she realizes her ambition to use her talent, and that she finds a companion who has more to give than material posessions.

    Thanks, Maia, for telling the story.

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  39. Thank you so much for sharing this. It was so touching, sad, but uplifting. I hope that she will find the happiness she deserves.

    I love the other posts you have done about Portugal. Although I come from a long line of Irish Folks we found out that when we did our genealogy that it all started in Portugal. My Daughter who did the research was able to go make a few hundred years on my Mothers side.

    Willow

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  40. Celeste, thank you for visiting my blog and being my first follower, how sweet!
    The place where I live is Santiago, just where the city ends and you start driving up in the mountains up to 1.000 meters up high, there is like leaving in the country but having the city and all its pleasures at hand, just five minutes down and everything is at hand.
    Cariños
    María Cecilia

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  41. Olá, Celeste! Fico muito contente por ter comentado no meu blogue, dando-me assim a oportunidade de conhecer o seu, que acho interessantíssimo. Devo, no entanto, acrescentar que fiquei com uma pontinha de inveja, pois também andei a correr a Patagónia, mas não cheguei a ir à Antartida e confesso que essa hipótese só me ocorreu em Ushuaia ao ver os barcos partindo rumo a esse destino... Ainda bem que a Celeste aproveitou a proximidade! :-)
    Cumprimentos

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  42. Celeste,
    Thank you so much for your comments on my blog.
    That is a beautiful painting. I would love to see more of your work.
    You are a true artist. I feel honored that you stop by and leave such lovely comments..
    Have a wonderful week-end,
    Sheri

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  43. Life is amazing, in that some people succumb to others so easily, and always give their inner being away, as if it means nothing.

    I've never understood, whether male to female, or simply people in general, why many find it powerful to keep others down through manipulation, or other means.

    That goes for others too, all around this world.

    Time is indeed short and we all have something to share.

    Having known 2 people who used suicide as a tool of escape, my best to this lady who managed to stay alive and live her dreams, no matter what they turn out to be.

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  44. This is a beautiful painting. I would love to see the whole, although that may not be something possible.

    It is good for your new friend to have found her way out 'so easily.' I hope she is not harmed in anyway!

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  45. How fitting that your painting she has on the wall is The Sultan's Concubines. Now that we have our quiet generator back I can spend more time online and finally got to see your paintings. You amaze me, Celeste, that someone as talented and busy as you would take the time to read my blog

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  46. some beautiful pictures & lovely reading...!

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  47. Just a note to answer your question, Celeste Maia: I'm Italian with l/3rd Irish, but admire many things Portuguese. OBRIGADA!

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  48. Celeste, I am speechless...what a profound story. I do hope she can rebuild her life and start a fresh. xv

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  49. I just had to come in and say hi. My day would not be complete without saying"hello Celeste". Have a good whatever time it is there.

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  50. A very moving story.
    And a beautiful painting.

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  51. It is morning here so I am just going to say a big, Happy GOOD MORNING to your smiling face.

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  52. Hi Celeste, What a courage story for her to tell and you to write about so wonderfully. It could be a novel. I love the painting she stands/sits beside. Is this the work you created? If so, it is gorgeous. You are not only talent with the pen, but brush too.

    The surroundings of your friends home is enchanting. What a wonderful location for tea, conversation and art work. I hope she finds her way and new direction. I have a good feeling she is off to a great start.

    Having a week of staycation for hubby and I. Going to take a day trip, enjoy our home and catch up on life! See you again soon when I return to my studio.
    Best regards, Celestina Marie

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  53. Celeste, this story is so sad, so beautiful and now hopeful. What a magical coincidence that she has one of your paintings. You are a marvelous writer and painter. I'm so glad I found you.

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  54. Celeste, I do hope that you enjoyed your sketching last evening. I wish I just had a smidge of your talent. You look like you just enjoy life to the fullest. You have been so supportive of me when I have felt so insecure and you are always there when I am wondering if I can keep on blogging. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

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  55. What a story and so well told. This young woman looks very fragile – I am sure it was wonderful for her to speak with you. Somehow I think you were meant to read her story and meet her – there are no coincidences say the Tibetans. You wrote quite an enthralling entry.

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  56. Your blog is amazing... the beautiful words on your banner gave me chill bumps. What a multi-talented being you are.

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  57. I am touched by Anna's story, her courage.
    What an inspiration this sharing of women's lives! Thank you for sharing this. We sometimes understimate the power of women networking-how the sharing unite us in one single voice of strength and courage. It is important we know we are not alone, there are many sisters out there ready to listen and help. I wish Anna had found some other woman in her path who could have helped.

    Wonderful and touching post. Thank you!

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  58. in case I did not have correct e-mail for you I just want to say thank you for being a part of my life. You are so upbeat I can't help but think how inspiring you are. I recouped and I am back.

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  59. Celeste, are you really back??? I got this post and I wondered if it was from you or just a hoax.I hope it is you for real.

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